


Your Understanding of My Motives is Flawed, or You Don't Know Me: Hataz Gon Hate

by MaxWrite



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-08-07
Updated: 2009-08-07
Packaged: 2017-10-18 13:38:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/189433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaxWrite/pseuds/MaxWrite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>McCoy thinks he has Spock figured out. Spock would beg to differ.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Understanding of My Motives is Flawed, or You Don't Know Me: Hataz Gon Hate

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [Trek Exchange](http://trek_exchange.livejournal.com) 2009.

"Jim! You're being completely irresponsible here!"

Spock glanced back just in time to see the captain and the chief medical officer stride onto the bridge, the captain sauntering and carefree while the doctor looked as though his day had thus far been spectacularly unsatisfactory.

"Relax, will you, Bones?" said Kirk as he approached his chair.

McCoy followed. "I will not relax. As the captain of this ship, you have a responsibility to set an example."

"Nobody even knows about it."

"Well, they're going to in a minute if you don't come with me right now to have that thing examined."

Kirk sat in his chair and crossed his legs, indicating that he had no intention of going anywhere, and he gave McCoy a little smile.

"You really wanna have this conversation here?" asked McCoy.

Kirk shrugged and glanced around at his bridge crew. "Don't see why not. I have nothing to hide from these people."

McCoy rolled his eyes. "Figures."

"Is there a problem, gentlemen?" asked Spock as he stood and stepped toward them.

"Matter of fact, there is," said McCoy, nodding at Kirk.

Spock glanced at the captain and scrutinized him for a moment. Kirk said nothing, instead glancing around the bridge with a look of complete innocence on his face.

"Captain," said Spock. "Does Dr. McCoy have sufficient reason to be upset?"

"No, he doesn't," said Kirk.

"The hell I don't!" said McCoy. "I leave you alone for five minutes down on that planet and _this_ is what you go and do?"

"Oh, is that what this is about?" asked Kirk. "That I went and did this without you? Tsk, tsk, Bonesy, that's a tad petty, isn't it?"

McCoy scrunched up his face in annoyance. "No, that is not what this is about! What this is about is the fact that you refuse to allow me to examine it now."

Spock looked back and forth between the two of them. "Captain, to what are you both referring?"

"Nothing. I just... went and got a little ink done." A mischievous smile touched Kirk's lips.

"Ink," echoed Spock.

"A tattoo," McCoy clarified. "A goddamn tattoo. On an alien planet. In god knows what kind of conditions."

"Captain, is this correct? Your skin was permanently imprinted with a liquid pigment while on shore leave?"

"That's right," said Kirk. "And what of it?"

"We don't know what kinds of organisms could've been in that ink, Jim," said McCoy. "I wasn't there, I didn't see the conditions under which you so foolishly had this thing etched into your skin."

"It was fine, Bones, perfectly clean. I checked everything out myself."

"Oh, well, as long as you conducted a thorough inspection," said McCoy in a tone that Spock had come to recognize as sarcasm. McCoy used this tone more often than any humanoid Spock had ever encountered. "We are talking about you, right? The same guy who extended the Five-Second Rule to a One-Minute-and-Thirty-Second Rule when his cookie rolled under our bed?"

"Captain," said Spock, but then he paused to arch an eyebrow at the doctor, considering the man's last few words.

McCoy cleared his throat. " _His_ bed," he mumbled. "We shared a room, you see. What I meant was _his_ bed in _our_ room... is what I meant."

Deciding to ignore this, Spock looked back at Kirk. "The doctor is correct. While I am certain that the conditions under which the tattoo was applied strictly adhered to Orbakian regulations for such procedures, it is unclear whether or not said regulations are strict enough by human standards, and to deliberately go without a proper examination is highly inadvisable."

"You see that?" said McCoy. "You see what you did there, Jim? Your stupidity has caused Pointy Ears and me to agree about something. Lord help us all."

"It is only logical that I agree with you in this instance, Doctor."

"Yeah?" asked McCoy skeptically. "You mean you don't simply disagree with me to play Devil's Advocate?"

"Of course not. That would not be logical."

"Hmph. Okay, then."

"You do not understand me as well as you believe you do, Doctor."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that."

"Guys?" said Kirk. "Remember me? The guy you were so enthusiastically reaming a minute ago?"

"Captain," said Spock, "you are aware that in situations in which the captain is deemed to be acting in an irrational manner, it is within the first officer's power to relieve him of duty."

Kirk raised his eyebrows at Spock. "Are... are you serious?"

"Almost always. You appear to be under the mistaken impression that this situation isn't as serious as it is. As the doctor said, you may, as we speak, be under the influence of any number of unknown organisms. We need to be certain that this is not the case."

"I see. So, if I don't consent to being examined right now, I'm going to be overruled, is that what you're telling me?"

"Correct," said Spock.

"Damn straight," said McCoy at the exact same time.

"Ah," said Kirk with a nod. "Okay." He jumped up out of his seat and headed for the exit. "Spock, you have the bridge."

Spock and McCoy exchanged a glance and then went after him.

"Jones, you have the bridge," Spock called back to the most senior officer left on the bridge as he departed.

"I don't think your presence is required for this," said McCoy as they trotted after Kirk.

"Quite the contrary, Doctor. As first officer of this ship, the captain's well-being is as much my concern as it is yours."

"Yeah, but I'm the doctor here. If there's an issue, I'll be sure to let you know."

"Hey! Mom! Dad!" Kirk called back to them. "Quit your bickering. You two are totally harshing my shore-leave mellow."

McCoy looked sidelong at Spock. "You're the 'mom'," he grumbled and then sped up to pass Spock and catch up with the captain. Spock canted his head as he watched the doctor, considering his own role as "mom" in the captain's life. He supposed it made some kind of sense, considering how often he was required to advise Kirk about his often overzealous behavior. He did not, however, believe that McCoy had meant the comment as any kind of logical observation or compliment.

Kirk led them into the medical bay and headed for an empty biobed, where he stopped and turned to face them. "So, you two are that desperate to see the tat, are you? You know, Bones you coulda just waited a bit, I woulda shown you later."

McCoy glanced shiftily at Spock just as Spock glanced curiously at him. "Not now, Jim," he muttered out of the corner of his mouth.

"Oh, he knows," said Kirk with a dismissive wave of his hand. "He's not stupid."

"I don't care what you think he knows. I'm not about to go around advertising... certain things just because you think people already know about it!"

"Will you stop being so paranoid? Who's he gonna tell?"

McCoy looked sidelong at Spock with one eye narrowed. "Well... you may have a point there."

"I see," Spock said to McCoy. "You are attempting to make a humorous observation about my lack of social interaction. Your assessment of my personal life is flawed, Doctor. However, the captain is correct. I have no reason to divulge to anyone anything I might glean here. And incidentally, Captain, I am unaware of what you believe it is that I am already aware of."

"I don't trust him," McCoy said to Kirk.

"Well, duh," said Kirk. "What am I, new? I know you don't trust him."

"Doctor," said Spock. "I can assure you that whatever it is you are trying to keep hidden will remain so."

"Why?" said McCoy. "You don't engage in petty things like gossip? Because you're _that_ much more advanced than the rest of us? Is that it?"

"Bones," said the captain. McCoy ignored him.

"Well, let me tell you something, Spock. I've seen those parts of you that you try so hard to keep hidden, the icky, vindictive, _human_ parts. Yeah, I know they're there. And considering how well you and I get along, I wouldn't put it past you to try and get under my skin any way you could."

"Bones," Kirk repeated more firmly.

Spock stared unflinchingly at McCoy. "It is clear that you have not forgotten about my decision to send the captain to Delta Vega; however, the captain has since forgiven me for that incident."

"Yeah, Bones," said Kirk. "Water under the bridge, let it go, man."

McCoy crossed his arms and didn't look convinced.

"Besides," Kirk added, "for someone who's so upset about that incident, you were awfully _quiet_ during it."

McCoy shot him a fierce look. "We've discussed that. You know damn well I had no choice."

"Indeed he did not," said Spock. "Furthermore, Captain, it is not as though the doctor remained silent once you had been ejected."

Kirk raised his eyebrows at Spock. "Oh?"

"Yes. He was not in agreement with my decision and made that quite clear. And I believe he, at one point, likened you to a stallion."

Kirk half-frowned and half-smiled as he looked at McCoy. "You likened me to a what?"

McCoy was virtually vibrating with anger now. He pointed an accusatory finger at Spock and said, "You see that, Jim? This is what I'm talking about. There was no reason for him to say that just now!"

"Wait, Bones, you called me a what?"

McCoy lowered his finger and looked at Kirk. "I... he... _It's out of context!"_ He fixed Spock with his mistrustful glare again and growled, "I'm onto you."

"That is highly unlikely, Doctor," said Spock. "One thing is clear: you and I are nowhere close to understanding each other, but I know you will simply refute that fact, at least when it comes to your understanding of me." He then turned to Kirk, dismissing the entire subject once and for all. "Captain, the tattoo. Please expose it so that Dr. McCoy can examine it."

Kirk smirked and shook his head as he began unfastening his pants. "It was supposed to be a surprise, you know."

McCoy clenched his teeth. "Not _now_ , Jim. And... exactly which part of your body am I going to be looking at here?"

"Heh," Kirk chuckled as he pushed down a corner of his pants and underwear to expose a section of smooth, pale skin just left of his groin. McCoy frowned down at it and bent over to get a closer look just as Spock did the same thing. They both stopped and McCoy glared at him.

"Do you mind?" said McCoy.

"Apologies," said Spock as he straightened up again and stepped aside. McCoy glowered at him, grabbed a medical tricorder and then bent over to have a look. As he began his examination, he glanced up at Kirk, who was watching him with a little lopsided grin on his face. McCoy's frown intensified and he then went back to his examination, lowering himself down onto one knee. Kirk adjusted his stance, leaned back a bit and thrust his hip forward.

"Find anything yet?" he asked, sounding most uninterested.

"Shut up, Jim," grumbled McCoy as he raised a hand and touched his fingertips to the skin surrounding the tattoo. He gripped Kirk's hip, the pad of his thumb skirting the inked skin, and his mouth hung open slightly as he stared. Spock's eye darted from the doctor's face to the tricorder in his other hand, which had slowly dropped to rest on his thigh, clearly forgotten. McCoy's expression had softened considerably.

"So, what ya thinkin', Doc?" asked Kirk.

McCoy raised his eyes to Jim's face, once, twice, and then a third time, each time going right back down to the tattoo. Kirk smiled at him, but his face no longer held any arrogance. There was, however, something else there now, something... questioning, perhaps. He was asking for much more than the doctor's medical opinion.

McCoy cleared his throat and seemed to remember his tricorder. He straightened up again, frowning at the little screen. "Well, it doesn't appear to be infested with anything. You're lucky, Jim." He met Kirk's eyes as Kirk refastened his pants. "This could've ended badly. Or at least very uncomfortably."

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first million times you warned me. You still haven't told me what you think of it, though."

McCoy hesitated, glancing over at Spock and then back at Jim. "It's... an interesting choice."

"Interesting? That's it?"

McCoy shrugged and looked down sheepishly, his eyes darting in Spock's direction more than once. "It's nice, Jim. What do you want me to say?"

Kirk smirked and also glanced at Spock. "Right. I'll ask again sometime later, then."

McCoy appeared to sigh with relief. " _Thank_ you."

"All clear, Spock," said Kirk. "Clean bill of health."

"Very well," said Spock. "I will take my leave. Please try to be less impulsive in the future, Captain."

Kirk nodded at him. "Thanks for your concern."

Spock nodded back and headed out. As he departed, he could hear, "Dude, you called me a stallion?"

"Not _now_ , Jim."

When Spock stepped back onto the bridge, all eyes turned in his direction. The rest of the bridge crew was no doubt curious as to what Captain Kirk's tattoo was. Spock ignored everyone except Nyota, to whom he gave a brief glance before heading to his station. Nyota wasted no time; she stood and went directly to him.

"So, what was it?" she asked.

"Lieutenant, that is none of your concern."

"It's none of yours either, Commander."

"Quite the contrary. As first officer of this ship, the captain's well-being –"

"Yadda, yadda, yadda," Nyota interrupted him. "A likely story, but the actual tattoo isn't your business, is it? You didn't have to follow them."

Spock stopped what he was doing and glanced up at her. She was giving him her sternest look and punctuated it by raising an eyebrow at him. He considered his options. She was aware that he had seen the tattoo; there was no denying that at this point. She expected a certain level of loyalty between them, even when said loyalty meant betraying the trust of another.

The captain would most likely not be concerned if Spock told her. The captain might very well tell her himself, though Nyota would never ask him.

The doctor. Spock was quite sure McCoy had no clear ideas about Spock's personal motives and agendas. McCoy simply did not trust him and would assume Spock would do whatever it was that would annoy him most.

Of course, he would never know what Spock had or had not done because Nyota would never have reason to tell him.

Spock made a decision. With a surreptitious glance around the bridge to ensure no one was eavesdropping, he motioned for her to come closer. She leaned over.

"You are not at liberty to divulge this information to anyone," he warned in a whisper, though he was aware the warning was unnecessary.

"I know that," she whispered back.

"Very well. The tattoo consisted of a simple line drawing, about two inches in width and one-and-three-quarter inches in height."

"Yeah, go on."

"It was located on his left hipbone."

Nyota's eyebrows went up. "That's intimate."

"Indeed."

"What was the picture?"

"It was... a small collection of bones."

Nyota frowned. "A collection of bones?"

"They appeared to be femurs, and rather unrealistic ones at that."

Nyota's mouth moved soundlessly for a moment. "That's it?"

Spock nodded.

"What do you think that means?"

Spock hesitated for a fraction of a second, and then replied, "I do not know, Lieutenant."

Nyota straightened up and sighed. "I thought for certain it would be something crass."

"It may very well be. We do not know what significance the image holds for him."

"True. Well, thanks for telling me." She gave him a small smile, though she looked somewhat disappointed. She finally turned and went back to her station. He watched her go and then turned back to his own.

He could have explained to her the significance of the tattoo; the captain's relationship with the doctor was obvious to him. But he had no logical reason to do so. Explaining it to her would have been going too far, certainly. The captain's personal affairs were no one else's business unless he, himself, chose to make them so. And the same was true for the doctor.

But more than that, he was quite pleased to have proven, at least to himself, that the doctor's understanding of him was most definitely flawed.

END


End file.
